Do you feel rejected every Saint Valentine's Day because you're an emotional midget?
Maybe you need some fuel for your International Love Day fire.
Saint Valentine was a Roman martyr who married soldiers and was ultimately executed. He is the patron saint of, among other things, love, happy marriages, birds that mate for life, bee-keepers and against epilepsy. You know about Mohammad and epilepsy, right?
It's also the feast day of Saints Cyril and Methodius who developed what we know is the Cyrillic alphabet. Doesn't love sound more magical in Russian?
Do you need something to hold your valentines in? You're in luck. Make paper crafts, not war.
And why not fill your stomach with some valentine's dishes? A full stomach doesn't fuel immaturity.
See. If you just stopped being a frackwit about these things, you might not sound like someone who needs to be put in Gitmo.
(unlimited love to y'all)